A lot of people say they stay addicted out of boredom. Actually, the opposite is true; boredom has arisen out of addiction. The mind becomes accustomed to getting a hit on-demand and becomes conditioned to be intolerant of the natural ebb and flow of life. Those quiet spaces are the opportunities for recharge and new growth.
There’s an acronym in addiction recovery referred to as HALT. It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired. If you’re experiencing any of these things, you need to address them promptly, or you’re likely to be triggered to relapse. Low blood sugar from hunger can…
Are you the type of person who struggles to achieve a particular goal and can’t seem to get there? If so, you are like many people (myself included) who didn’t understand why all our efforts propelled rather than attracted our dreams and aspirations. The feeling that I could and should make something happen overrode any type of faith or perseverance. Why wait for something to happen? If it weren’t in my time frame, I’d just push a little harder, alienating all possible miracles along the way.
Faith Is Not Natural
Most of us don’t like to wait. Especially when technology…
People in recovery learn how to recognize when they are “triggered” to relapse. An event over which they have no control causes the person to feel emotionally flooded, and the first thing that comes to mind is to self-medicate those feelings with anything that will make a bad feeling go away.
All of us have situations that set us off, and it’s usually not the crises but the little things that cause us to go nuclear. Some of my triggers are:
- Waiting a long time in the checkout while someone fumbles around looking for their credit card. Thought: People should…
People who have decided to face their addiction have made a courageous attempt to reclaim their lives and cease self-destructive behavior. But stopping a single behavior does not usually end the disease of addiction. Addiction is a bottomless pit that always seeks fulfillment — forever searching without an end. Any old habit will do; co-dependency, drugs, electronics, food, gambling, nicotine, pills, pot, romance, sex, shopping, work — the list goes on ad-infinitum. Switching from one addiction to the next serves only one purpose. It prevents a person from discovering the true path to freedom — a cure.
I’m not talking…
Supporting Your Loved One Through Recovery
During the 30+ years that I’ve been a therapist, it’s a rare case that family members are equally involved in the recovery process. Typically, other family members sit back and watch the recovering person go to treatment, meetings, and therapy — after all, the addict is the one with the problem. Rather than getting involved, some people even resent the time the addict invests in getting better. The concept that the addict is the “sick one” has been fostered by the kind of treatment that delegates a fraction of the program to significant others.
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At the start of a New Year, many people feel motivated to change something. They start with a firm resolve to end a particular behavior or engage in a new one. But usually, after a few weeks, the resolution gives way to a lack of interest and ultimately is altogether forgotten. If you want to make a change, there are some things you can do to strengthen your chance of success.
Five Keys to Success
Be Certain You’re Ready. The first key to success is to be sure you’re ready to make the change. Every resolution represents a loss, and…
About a year ago, I attended a publicity summit in New York. Hundreds of authors gathered to meet influential people in the press; morning talk shows, news, radio, and podcasts. It was an exciting but nerve-racking experience. We had to wait in long lines, fight off the jitters, and be ready to nail the perfect two-minute pitch. If interested, they’d ask us to make contact; if not, we simply moved on to the next line and started all over again. Nothing personal about rejection; it simply wasn’t a good fit.
I’d been to the summit once before, but this time…
Part IV of IV — A Change in Perception
A Course in Miracles teaches, “To have all, give all to all.” In this message, we are encouraged to have a consciousness of abundance. There are three areas that we can either withhold or share; time, money, and forgiveness.
Jesus taught, “To those who have, more will be given. From those who have little, even that will be taken.” Jesus is not saying that the poor will suffer while the rich get richer. Instead, he is referring to different levels of consciousness. …
Part III of IV — A Change in Perception
If you think back to when you were a child, what stands out as your greatest holiday memories? When we reminisce, most of us don’t recall stuff so much as we relive emotional experiences.
Holidays are stressful because of the time and money involved in preparation. But less time and money and more thought can produce long-lasting smiles.
Your most treasured memories are associated with the feelings you had from an experience, not just the gift. Every time you recall that event, you relive the warmth that you felt back then.
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Part II of IV — A Change in Perception
Several times in my life, I suffered through the holidays. One Christmas, after a last-minute change of plans, I found myself feeling abandoned and alone in an empty house. Other times, the sight of families and couples who seemed blissfully joyous and full love of love magnified that empty dark hole inside of me. Over time, I began to dread the holidays, and a feeling of gloom enveloped me like a dark oil slick over my entire being.
During those years, I was at the effect of my thoughts, and those…
Dr. Donna Marks
Dr. Donna Marks is a licensed psychotherapist and an addictions counselor. She is certified in Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy.
